There is another reason why my GP and I came to the conclusion it best to investigate my memory in that over 20 years in total I have had repeated head injuries from 2 abusive husbands ..my second I stupidly stayed 15 years with his violent controlling then my third husband was a criminal scammer it turned out and became violent with drink. You can read more on my Women's voices to be heard blog. Given women survivors have endured repeated head injuries it maybe should be routine to keep a close clinical eye as they enter older years... as we do for boxers...
Yesterday the memory nurse practitioner was so kind to me.. we went through some tests.. Some I managed well but in the test had some mind blanking. I am a BSc RN RM used to work on busy birthing units, often the only midwife on duty that could scrub for c-section. I would manage my own case on delivery suite keeping an eye on the board to see if any mothers heading for emergency section... i would respond quick scrub prepare my instruments and be several steps ahead of surgeons needs. I was sparky and would mentor students .. so mind freeze and forgetfulness is a big worry to me.
I keep busy as you can see as an activist on domestic & international issues. Before lockdown would be zipping to Parliament for meetings, lobbying and protesting with other groups. I would go to university meetings and conferences. With my Family Link Up project go to Belgium to visit Syrian refugees I befriend. Family Link Up since lockdown zoom, attend webinars and messenger call. I also watch quizzes on tv to resharpen my memory.
But despite keeping my brain active i am witness this lack of recall and starring trying to make sense of all around me. I do grief loss of youth, i berate myself for stupid decisions with wrong partners that could have taken my life, but ruined my life. I am not the woman of substance i could have been with property & investments able to afford a private nurse if I needed in my vulnerable old age. I am feeling vulnerable.
Yet have amazing life.
Yesterday the memory nurse asked me to give 10 words beginning with P ..i got 4 tgen blanked off... me a writer a poet..there is a P ...had articles published..another P scarily amusing now yet had brain freeze.. All last night and through the day been like a flood of words in my mind beginning with P.
The nurse will write a report for the doctor and we discussed how a MRI scan maybe the best tool to see. I have had an MRI scan before some years ago..when had hypertension crisis and could not walk in straight line. At that time though a couple of infarcted areas it was deemed a normal bra8n for my age. So doctor will be able to do a comparative analysis. I was asked by the nurse if I would wish to be told any diagnosis..of which yes I need to be in the team to work with all tools to keep my faculties. My nurse also shone a positive light on me to say..it also maybe nothing abnormal found. We have been through a crazy 14 months globally with the world turned upside down from the pandemic so it maybe the stress of this.
I am going to share my journey to help me and others worried about brain freeze & memory loss.
