Each week I joined an International women's group mostly migrants and asylum seekers here in the UK. We have had some good weeks of sharing and the time spent varied from light fun, dance, song sharing, general sharing and self care. But a few weeks ago I actually did hesitate joining as I felt my mood shift with this lockdown but still attended. A subject cropped up that made me angry - angry with my country's history and the poor record of care and human rights around the world yes I am talking about the UK.. I was angry at now in the UK poor leadership in this year crisis, muddled advice promises that do not get felt at the frontline of need, angry at how I have had to fight for my rights as a DV survivor and also as a 1950s born women robbed of 6yrs pension. Angry at Brexit, something I strongly disagree with and feel is crazy given pandemic and climate change issues breaking away from Europe when we need to be in a strong togetherness to problem solve issues. I felt vulnerable with my new passport just British and not British European a status that made me feel stronger when travelling the world if I had problems. I had heard from the women's Zoom group how women are horrendously mistreated by people traffickers and a blood curdling story on sex trafficking and the bizarre practices some sadistic men perform on a slave.... I blew and got angry on camera - I saw myself on camera how horrid anger looks my aura turning from light caring to heaving and ugly.... I have been in state of shock and it unearthed all my traumas from the past and how I felt an utter fool for walking into relationships that used me and abused me...Womens voices to be heard - even to the point of losing my foothold in my career. But what I heard from other women that have been abused on a grand scale made me realise that if I was still in practice as a midwife we as midwives would need peer support to help us cope with the stories that are opened up to us... and we need serious loving sex education in schools to stop the craziness that some men can have with porn and deluded power over their prey.
So this is why I have had a gap in posting I have been nursing myself at home and just enjoying family skype calls and most bizarre got hooked on mushy romantic Christmas films on an afternoon to sit and watch and knit in homely way.... is that what I am craving for yes homeliness and cosiness... and what all women need to be respected and loved for all the input they give to family and home... sorry for keeping this woman biased but needing to share as I am feeling. I need a hug not criticism.. with respect...
