Been in the library and got a book for some snuggle up time with a novel and escapism...but find it difficult to concentrate with all the stress of repossession order. I am trying to operate and keep positive.... If only I was the woman of substance I should have been and could have been if I had not allowed controlling abusive men in my life. But they weave their tendrils around you and entwine you in emotional complexities...it is part of their behaviour pattern. The women they are with now are at great risk.. it will be a matter of time and they will crack and show their real self not the illusion Mr nice guy!!
I should write a book... actually do have some transcripts and ideas on file... but always the stumbling block is finding a literary agent.....
Have another issue I am observing with not eating good nutritional meals every day I feel my eyesight failing. I need to get optician check and new lens but this impossible with no funds now. This situation is madness... Poverty actually costs the country more with the ill health it generates.....
I do wish I could get some good loyal customers for the Neals Yard I am registered with ... a group of say 50 or more ordering each month would be helpful.... and could build that business up.... ohhh dear everything I try or ideas that come have a stumbling block or need some spin money... Feel so utterly alone with this problem solving. Though my refugee contacts keep me strong... we are all traumatised souls that have lost everything... but not lost our intellect and knowledge... we just need to get a break to find some way of earning to live not survive but live.
